Groomsmen Attire and Why It’s Often Problematic

Let’s talk about groomsmen attire on the day of your wedding. One of the things that I have noticed as a consistent problem over the years is groomsman attire and often things not being quite right with it. I have some suggestions for you on how to make this process so much better and alleviate so many mistakes.

Groomsmen not having their socks or their cufflinks, groomsmen not getting ready until 15 minutes before they’re supposed to be doing pictures, groomsmen not having the right sized suit, etc. These are all unfortunately completely accurate and common scenarios. The three main places that we are ordering tuxes/suits from these days, and for a long time, are Men’s Warehouse, Jos A. Bank, and Blacktux.com. Honestly, all of those places are super similar. There is one main thing as groomsmen (and grooms and dads!) that you need to be doing that you are not doing: When you go and pick up your tux bag, whether the groom is doing it or whether the groomsmen are doing it, you need to open the bag while you’re at the store and make sure that everything that is supposed to be inside of it is inside of it. Not just the shirt and the suit, but also the accessories: button covers, pocket squares, suspenders, cuff links. Are you supposed to have all these things? If you are, you need to make sure you have all of them before you leave the store. If you’re ordering from Black Tux, they deliver everything to you two weeks early, which is great because you can open the bag and make sure everything’s inside of it. If something is missing, you can fix these problems immediately, not 20 minutes before photos when you open the bag for the first time to realize you have the wrong color of navy suit, you don’t have the button covers, you don’t have the socks you’re supposed to have, and then who has to fix this problem? I do.

This is not a criticism at all on these tux companies, but, remember, these tux companies are literally assembling thousands of tuxes a week in a warehouse by probably the lowest paid people at their company. We’re so appreciative of them, but this is like not a career for these people. They’re just clocking in, clocking out, putting suits together, going home. They don’t have a vested interest in this occasion for you. They probably don’t even have a vested interest in this job that they have. Mistakes happen. Mistakes are fixable as long as we can catch them in time. But, when you wait until the last minute, then we are at the mercy of wherever our location is. You may think, “I’m in a big city. If something’s wrong, the wedding planner or someone in my family can run to Men’s Warehouse.” Sure, we probably can do that, but I’ve had instances where we call the closest Men’s Warehouse, which might be 5 minutes away, doesn’t have the size that you need. The size that you need is across town 45 minutes away and, by the time you get back, pictures are done. I’ve had photographers have to photoshop the correct color of suit onto a groomsman before because of that exact situation. Or maybe you’re in a location where the closest and fastest place to make this correction is a super expensive location. Downtown Dallas has the original Neiman Marcus. It’s very close to many very nice wedding venues. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to run to Neiman Marcus and get a pocket square for a groomsman that ended up being like $150.00 just because the groomsman didn’t check the tux bag ahead of time when it arrived. I don’t even care if you try on the suit. As long as you make sure the sizes are correct and that everything you’re supposed to have in that bag is there, you’re going to alleviate so many problems on the day of the wedding. Brides, make your groomsmen do this. I promise it’s helpful.

Now you might be thinking, “We’re not renting tuxes. We’re having all the guys buy their own suits.” Does this work? It really can work, but here are a couple of tips. If everyone is going to just wear a suit they already have and that suit is going to be navy, this does not work. Think of how many shades of navy exist, and you’re pretty much guaranteed that you’re not going to have all the same shade. It’s the same case with gray. However, when everybody has a black suit, this does work pretty well. Yes, they’re not going to be all the exact same black suits, but you can’t really tell even in the photos. However, I do recommend that the groom still give them a little bit of guidance. What’s that white shirt supposed to look like that they’re wearing? Are you gifting them some cufflinks? Are they showing up with a shirt that can use cufflinks or not? You have to give them that direction. Are you going to tell them to wear black shoes? Are those shoes allowed to be shiny? Do they need to be matte shoes? Give them this direction. I recommend to grooms whenever they’re going to let their groomsman wear their own black suit, that they still buy a tie for them that’s really consistent because then everybody has the same width, the same length of tie, the same sheen on their tie etc. That’s a place those differences are really noticeable. If they wear their own tie and it’s different, it can be a problem for sure.

Of course, if you’re having custom suits made or everybody’s wearing a custom suit, then you’re going to alleviate a lot of these problems. But these are some tips for things that I see go wrong on wedding days that we end up having to scramble to fix that are so easily preventable. Stay on top of that stuff, guys. I promise you’re going to alleviate a lot of stress that day if you do so.

by Meredith Commender, CSEP