Should You Invite Kids to Weddings?

Time for some real talk on whether you should or should not allow kids at your wedding. It’s a common question that gets asked of me all the time. Should we allow kids to come to our wedding? There is one main thing you need to think about, and it’s a hard truth: It’s not the kids that are the problem. It’s the parents.

I’m not trying to act like I’m a perfect mom. When my kids were little, they certainly acted a fool in public from time to time. Okay? And I’ll admit, I never have taken my kids to a wedding. Why? Because I’m one of those people that feels that it’s okay to go out with your spouse or your significant other for a night and not take your kids with you…..just saying. However, if kids have to come to a wedding, when you’re deciding what kids should be allowed to come, the question you need to ask yourself is, “How are these kids’ parents with discipline? Had I brought my children to a wedding ever in their lives, if my kids were being noisy or trying to run around or being demanding, I would have been like, “Knock it off. Be quiet. Sit there. Eat what you’re given and don’t complain. And if you’re going to throw a tantrum, we’re going to leave the room.” That’s the kind of mom that I am. Probably not a surprise.

However, there are not many parents that act like this who bring their kids to weddings. There are many parents who treat a wedding as an ability for them to get drunk at the bar while their children run amock in a contained room that they are choosing to treat like a babysitter. Running all over the dance floor, sticking their hands in the cake, stepping on the bride’s dress, being right by the cake table when the bride’s trying to cut the cake. This is not really the kids’ fault. They’re being unsupervised, and who should really be getting shamed here is not the kids but the parents who are allowing this nonsense to continue.

How about those parents that ask for a separate meal for the kids, even when you probably planned for that anyways and what you got for them was fine, but it’s still not good enough. I’ve had that happen a lot of times. I’ve even had parents ask us to leave the venue to go get their children a particular kind of soda because the soda that we had at the event was apparently not good enough for them. Those parents should not be invited. Nor should you be friends with people like that honestly!

I’ve had instances too where children were having an allergic reaction to the food. Definitely we see more allergic reactions with food with children in this generation than with adults. I have had mothers come up to me and ask me if I had an EpiPen for their child. To which my answer is, “Do you have an EpiPen?” Because if your child has a severe food allergy, and you’re taking them to a place with a buffet full of unknown food, maybe you should bring your own EpiPen!

Also, some of the worst offenders, those of you who sit in a ceremony with a crying baby and do not leave the room. Everyone hates you. I just want you to know; those are facts. Whenever we see someone enter a ceremony with a crying baby, we will say to them very politely, “Would you like to sit here towards the back in case the baby starts crying so that you can step out of the room?” Passive aggressive, I know, but effective. So, if you are one of those people whose children start crying and throwing tantrums, that happens. Kids are kids. But you should be the responsible parent and step out of the room with these kids rather than making everyone else suffer just because you are unwilling to get a babysitter.

So, when you’re deciding who to invite to the wedding and you’re wondering if you should invite kids, the question is really how are the parents going to act if their children are misbehaving? And then only invite those people who know how to regulate on this.

by Meredith Commender, CSEP